September 27th, 2005

Sure is nice to be home again. Living is easy at the dome isn’t it? No problem, just show up and its in the bag. No worries, no doomsday scenarios, just bring em in and send em home crying. Swagger this and swagger that. Well all that egomania surely may be overrated as well as overstated, but the Gateway gigolos’ sure wear the costume well, don’t they?

Was that the same old has-been Tennessee Titans trying to come back for some sort of pathetic attempt at redemption, and trying to bring that mess to the Mike Jones dome? I bet even ole’ Eddie George couldn’t watch that.

Just in case the other teams in the league don’t get it yet, let me spell it out right here. This is St. Louis football at the dome, we can’t be beat here…period. We didn’t even show up until the second quarter of the game, plus spotted them a ten-point lead, and still Coach Fisher left the building with prozacs falling out of his mouth. Unbeatable here we are, plain and simple – get used to it.

By the way, I like Steve McNair. But some friendly advice is in order here. Steve, if you’re reading this, (which I’m sure everyone is, cause no one who’s anyone ever misses a Watchdog article) please do us all a favor, and stop trying to be a quarterback. You’re a nice man, and we all loved you as lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish, but its time to get back to working on the sequel to your Burger King commercial. Put the football down and back away. Like Nike said, “Just do it.”

Next week should be the first real test for the Rams when they travel to the Meadowlands to take on Mini-Manning and the Tiki-torch. I do have a soft spot for Eli Manning now. I mean lets face it, he did stand up and go to San Diego to face the team he completely shunned after they were nice enough to draft him as their number 1 pick. And they did what every other self-respecting gang of spurned bitches would do; they slammed his face in the dirt and beat his team senseless and silly. Just the creativity of the seemingly hundreds of signs in the crowd was enough to keep me giggling throughout the game along with the rest of the country. Word of advice for little Eli: Stop trying to be a man, you’re too little of a pipsqueak for that. Stop trying to catch up to your brother in one season. Here’s a little realized tip for you…he sucks, you suck, and crusty old Archie sucked in New Orleans before either of you. Let’s count the championships between all of you…go ahead, begin anytime. Dohh!

Okay, that was mean. I guess I owe all of them an apology. Guess I’ll put them on my list behind the hundreds of others I’ve wrongly exposed the truth about. I’m sorry guys, sorry you stink so bad. But I do like Hootie and the Blowfish. Go Steve McNair, may you have many more hamburger ballads in your glorious future. As for the New York Giants, we’re bringing the main course. As Hootie would say….COME AND GET IT!

~Mark Adams/The WatchDog~